I Dare You
by AnonymouslyStupid
Summary: Soichiro Yagami enters the Kira Investigation Headquarters only to find Light behaving like L, and L behaving like Light.
1. Chapter 1

Soichiro Yagami had had a tough life. Being a policeman, he had seen many terrible crimes: arson, rapists… even mutilated bodies sprawled in large quantities of blood… And he, being a human being, had felt an undeniable fear. A tight clenching in his chest, his heart palpitating wildly, his palms cold and clammy…

Sometimes his legs felt like giving way.

He'd felt much fear and endured a lot in his life. But no fear would match this one. This one was different. It was because he was so afraid that he could not even show symptoms of said emotion. To be feel fear to this extent… He was terrified.

Horrified indeed.

In his whole life his son meant a lot to him. But now, as he looked at him… He could not believe his eyes. He didn't want to rub them. He was afraid when he did, the sight before him would still remain unchanged, and that it was not due to his poor eyesight.

Light sat in his usual office chair in the Kira Investigation Headquarters, just like he had everyday. He was still handcuffed to L, as always, but…

Soichiro Yagami was terrified of his son. His son, his dear son…

Light was not exactly sitting in his chair. He was squatting. Feet together, hands on his knees… exactly like L. And that wasn't all. Light Yagami, probably for the first time in his life, was dressed sloppily. That wasn't what had Soichiro Yagami, a grown man, afraid. It was what Light was wearing.

Light was wearing L's clothes. The loose long-sleeved white shirt… and the blue jeans…

His hazel-brown hair was disheveled, like that of a mad man (exactly like L's hairstyle).

His dressing was a minor shock compared to what was on his desk. Soichiro looked to the table, mouth agape. There were sweets and cakes practically flooding the table, but this time they were placed right in front of Light. Light had slight dark circles under his eyes, as he stared intently at the cakes, scrutinizing them with wide eyes…

He picked up a spoon with his thumb and forefinger, using it to poke a strawberry cake, his expression absolutely blank.

Soichiro Yagami's concentration was so intent on his son that he had forgotten the other person in the Headquarters.

L was there. And it wasn't L… _was it_?

L was wearing the uniform that Light usually wore… And the scariest part was that L was sitting, _upright_, in his chair. He was typing away at the keyboard... like a normal person. Not the usual way he used to type; only his forefingers stomping on one alphabet at a time, but rather he used all his fingers and typed rather swiftly across the keyboard.

His usually messy hair was styled properly, just like Light's had. It was rather weird… Was it him or had L's dark circles disappeared? Soichiro shook his head to clear it.

L grabbed the handle of the cup, like a _normal person_, and brought it up to his lips, sipping on it. Light, on the other hands, was plopping more sugar cubes into his coffee, resulting in messy splatters on the table, and seemed like he was enjoying it.

"I…"

Both boys turned to look at him; both totally transformed, one for the better, one (his son!) for the worst.

"Good morning, Yagami-san." L said, flashing a wide smile. It looked very sincere. Soichiro flinched, chilled to the bone, as he briefly nodded in acknowledgement. Was it him, or had L's pale skin tone transferred to Light? Was it even possible!

"Good morning, Father," Light said, tone monotonous, expression blank. He turned back to his cakes once again, engrossed.

This must be a nightmare. Soichiro Yagami reasoned as he took a deep intake of breath. He walked towards Light slowly, as if approaching a wild animal. It was his own son for God's sake! Why was he so frightened that Light might… suddenly do something drastic?

Upon reaching Light's table, he stopped, looking at his son's back intently, earnestly trying to figure out and solve this terrible puzzle.

"Should Father have anything to question me, please do." Light said without turning, still prodding his cake with the spoon.

"Light…" Soichiro said in his usual gruff voice. However, his tone had a serious note to it, one that could not be ignored. Light delicately placed the spoon onto the table. He then turned his chair around to face his father, his position unchanged with his hands on his knees.

"Yes, Father? I am fairly busy. However, should this be important I would gladly listen."

Soichiro hesitated, gulping, as he stared into his son's eyes. They were still their usual hazel brown, however they appeared so dark… and mysterious…

"Is something wrong, Yagami-san?" L asked from where he was sitting, his tone laced with worry. Wait, when was the last time L's tone actually _had_ a tone? He was leaning his chair a little backwards as to look at Soichiro, "You seem a little pale. Are you okay?"

"I… Thank you for your concern, Ryuuzaki, but I am fine."

No, it was _perfectly_ normal for L to start acting like a worried colleague all of a sudden. Extremely normal indeed...

"Are you sure?" L asked, frowning now, "Do you need to see a doctor? I could go with you if you want to…"

"No, no… thank you…"

"I am confident that Father has more dedications to his work than to his health. This is rather difficult. Perhaps you should listen to Ryuuzaki, Father." Light said, his thumb on his pursed lips as he stared straight into his father's eyes.

"I… I am just fine, Son. There is no need to worry about me."

"Very well, then. If you insist, Father." Light turned back to his cake, picking up the spoon gently and taking a small bite of the cake.

L got up of his chair and walked towards Soichiro, expression extremely worried.

Soichiro could not help but take several steps back as the supposed L-person walking towards him… It isn't L! His senses practically screamed at his face. It was becoming more like a horror movie now; because as L walked towards him, his back was completely upright. There was not the tiniest bit of the slouch Soichiro once knew.

The most terrifying thing? L was wearing _shoes_.

NONONONONO! NO! STAY AWAY! He screamed silently in his head.

L held Soichiro's arm, partially supporting him as he led him towards the sofa in the Headquarters. He, exhausted from the overwhelming emotions and confusion, gladly obliged, sitting on the sofa and closing his eyes.

_This is a nightmare_, he chanted quietly to himself.

_When I open my eyes, all this will disappear._

He wasn't surprised that when he opened his eyes, everything was as it was when he entered the Headquarters that morning: L and Light had switched bodies somehow… Soichiro frowned. However Light had called him Father! Which meant that Light Yagami (the abnormal one currently smashing the strawberry cake as he consumed it) was his son… That did not make the least bit of sense…

"Are you feeling alright? I think you should take a rest today. You should go home." L was now back with a hot towel. He was holding it normally, like a human being (gasp!), and he placed it on Soichiro's forehead.

"I'm… I'm fine…"

"You're not, Yagami-san! Please don't strain yourself! You've been working very hard lately!" L exclaimed, voice filled with anxiety as he tended to Soichiro.

It was then that Matsuda decided to show up.

"Uh…" Matsuda stood at the door, gaping at the scene before him.

After several seconds, Matsuda managed to choke out, "H-Hello."

L turned to Matsuda, as if he had just noticed him, and said, "Good morning Matsuda-san!"

He smiled adorably.

Matsuda watched, wide-eyed. Instead of fear, he was feeling absolutely fascinated.

"Woah! Ryuuzaki! You just smiled! Like… not a scary smile! You just smiled a friendly smile!" Matsuda exclaimed excitedly, as he pointed at L, almost bouncing on the very spot where he stood.

"Good morning, Matsuda." Light said, voice sounding bored as ever, "Now that you have arrived, could you kindly keep your volume down and assist Ryuuzaki in persuading my father?

"Woah, Light-kun! You sound exactly like Ryuuzaki."

Light ignored him, his eyes now trailing back to his computer screen, gazing intently at it. Matsuda immediately turned to Soichiro and L, hurriedly running towards them.

"Chief! You look terrible! What happened?" Matsuda said, now beginning to use his hands to fan the man that was lying on the sofa, exhausted.

"It's… nothing."

L turned sharply to Matsuda and instructed, "Matsuda-san, would you please call Light's mother? Afterwards please escort Yagami-san to the door to wait for her arrival. He's extremely sick. We need to help him go home and rest. He is refusing help."

"I… okay, Ryuuzaki." Matsuda ran off the call Light's mother.

"Ugh…" Soichiro groaned.

"Just close your eyes and rest, Yagami-san. Your wife will be here to pick you up soon, okay? You will be alright after a few days of good rest." L said, urging Soichiro to take a rest.

"Fine…" Soichiro reluctantly agreed, closing his eyes and drifting off to blissful dreams where his son was normal again.

* * *

><p><strong>After 15 minutes of silence…<strong>

"I have something to tell you, Ryuuzaki." Light said, tilting his head to the side. L sighed deeply and walked over to Light (very normally! O-O).

"What is it, Light-kun? I have a lot of things to do. Chief Yagami is sick and there are many things to take care of. You should not only care about work. Your father is equally important." L chided, disapproval written all over his face.

"That is certainly true, Ryuuzaki. Very well, I shall take note to prevent such incidents in future." Light said, still looking to the ceiling with his thumb on his lip.

"That is pleasant to hear." L said, pleased. "Well then, Light-kun, what is it you wanted to tell me? Something annoying again, I bet."

"Whether it is annoying is based on personal opinion, Ryuuzaki. If you were to hate me as a person in general, anything that I say will be annoying to you. It is something that I am unable to control… Ryuuzaki. How do I ensure what I say is not annoying to you?"

L rolled his eyes and huffed, utterly annoyed.

"What is it, Light-kun! Just spit it out already!"

"Ah, Ryuuzaki, you're too impatient… You should learn patience. It is an important virtue indeed." Light said, hazel-brown eyes staring into L's dark one's, expression blank.

"The pot calling the kettle black, Light-kun. You're not terribly patient as well. Quit playing your stupid mind games and tell me what you want to say."

L looked annoyed.

"Very well. I suppose I should tell you."

"Ryuuzaki! Light-kun! Chief Yagami is on the way back home now!" Matsuda said, panting as he ran towards the duo.

"Is he alright?" L asked, genuine worry coating his features.

"Er, yeah, he's okay…" Matsuda replied nervously, rather confused.

"That is good." Light said, his gaze returned to staring at his computer screen.

"What was it you wanted to tell me, Light-kun?" L snapped irritably, still standing by Light's side.

"I have changed my mind. I don't feel like telling it to you anymore."

"Ugh..." L walked back to his seat, sitting now.

* * *

><p><strong>After another 15 minutes of silence…<strong>

"Erm… Ryuuzaki?" Matsuda asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"What is it, Matsuda-san?"

"You seem different today."

L smiled, replying, "I certainly do."

Matsuda shifted slightly, feeling that today something was rather _off_… What exactly _was_ it? Perhaps it was because L and Light had exchanged clothes… Well, that wasn't the only weird thing today… Oh yeah! L had smiled a total of TWO times in a day! That was a record! He had thought maybe the detective's cheek muscles had died... or something. He guessed they were quite alright afterall...

Hmm, maybe his cheek muscles had healed?

Well… what about Light? Light was acting quite distant today… Maybe he is silently worried about something? Hmm… the whole situation feels off somehow… I wonder what's wrong…

"Erm… Light-kun?"

"If you intend to question me the exact words as you did Ryuuzaki, Matsuda-san, which chances of happening is about ninety-four point two percent, I suggest that you do not." Light said coldly, eyes never leaving his computer screen.

"Erm… okay, whatever you say, Light-kun…" Matsuda said sheepishly.

Just then, Matsuda had come to the conclusion that Light was rather psychic.

LIGHT-KUN, he screamed in his head, ARE YOU SAD?

Light was still typing away at his computer.

I CAN HELP YOU, Matsuda continued, EVEN IF EVERYONE HATES YOU. I WON'T. I PROMISE.

Still no reaction.

Well, perhaps Light was too embarrassed to express his worries... Awww! Matsuda blushed, rubbing his palms together, LIGHT-KUN, IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK... I WILL JUST ACCOMPANY YOU SILENTLY...

The duo, unbeknownst to Matsuda's rather interesting conversation in his own head, continued typing away at their computers.

Though they did noticed how Matsuda had started giggling to himself from time to time...

Not that it was unusual for him.

* * *

><p><strong>Half an hour later…<strong>

Aizawa walked in, with Mogi trailing behind him. They were chatting about something that had happened on the news; something about cars…

"I can't believe I bought it. They were lying the whole time…" Aizawa complained, strolling in.

"It's true." Mogi, the usually quiet one, said.

The two of them stopped dead in their tracks, shocked expression glued to their faces. They stood there immobile, for a long time.

L and Light did not stir from work. It was as if they did not even notice the men that had arrived, which, of course, they did, but did not bother to greet them.

"Ummm…" Matsuda said uncertainly, "Hello."

Everyone in the room ignored Matsuda, as they always did.

"What the hell is going on here?" Aizawa demanded, awaking from his trance-like state due to Matsuda's words.

Mogi silently watched the scene unfurl in front of him.

"Umm… Yeah. Light-kun is rather grumpy today… And Ryuuzaki seems more cheerful… And they decided to exchange their clothes, I think… But no one wants to explain anything to me… Erm… But I think what happened is that maybe Light-kun and Ryuuzaki… have been transformed by the..." he paused, trying to create the suspense that didn't exist.

"What!" Aizawa asked, annoyed.

"The... the..." Matsuda's voice suddenly turned into a rasping whisper, "...spirit guides..."

He started to wave his hands in the air, swinging them about slowly, trying to create a magical shimmering effect in the air which he failed to do.

Aizawa stared at Matsuda, jaw hitting the ground. L and Light continued with their work, ignoring everybody else in the room.

It wasn't his stupidity that surprised Aizawa. Noooo, in fact, his stupidity did not surprise _anyone_ anymore. It was his… what was it called? Ah, imagination…?

Because Aizawa was sure that even a little kid would cancel the option called 'Spirit Guides'.

"You have been watching those stupid movies again, haven't you?"

"Oh… no… Aizawa… You can't offend the spirit guides… They just do what is best for their charges… It's their job, you see? The thing is that Light-kun and Ryuuzaki…" Matsuda held his breath for the 'wonder' effect, "don't even know it themselves…"

Aizawa wanted to punch Matsuda right in his head. Or at least crack open his head to search for his nonexistent brain.

Was he for real? Because he hadn't realised Matsuda was idiotic to this extent.

"Well, maybe we should call out the spirit guides and talk to them, so that we can found out why Ryuuzaki has completely changed into something like Light, while Light has changed into something like Ryuuzaki."

"That's a great idea, Aiza-"

"Should the rest of you feel bored by the current conversation and finally decide to work on the Kira case, please feel free to tell me." Light said, gently lifting sugar cube-filled cup, and sipping on it delicately.

"Light! I demand an explanation! What the hell?" Aizawa glared daggers at the two boys, determined. Mogi looked around the room, suddenly noticing something… He tugged at Aizawa's shirt, alerting him.

"Chief Yagami isn't here…" he mumbled quietly.

"What?" Aizawa's gaze swept the room. However, Soichiro was nowhere in sight. Perhaps the world was going to start tumbling around them right about now.

"I owe you no explanation, Aizawa-san. It is you who have come to ridiculous conclusions. Please lower your volume or you will be forced to." Light warned, plopping several more sugar cubes into his cup.

"I swear you will have diabetes very soon, Light-kun. Ugh… How you even manage to consume so much sugar cubes just boggles me." L said, shaking his head.

Everyone in the room stared at L, even Light.

All was silent.

"Ryuuzaki… w-what… did you just… say…!" Aizawa spluttered, trying not to choke on his own saliva.

"Need I repeat?" L asked, frowning as he looked at everyone staring at him.

"No, Ryuuzaki. Your statement was spoken loud and clear." Light-kun responded, turning back to his work.

"No shit…" Aizawa used his hands to cover his eyes, breathing deeply.

"Would you kindly refrain from utilizing vulgar language, Aizawa-san? It would make you seem more civilized as a person."

"Raaargh!" Aizawa screamed, having a mental breakdown, much to everyone's dismay. He proceeded to punch the wall, whimpering a little after he did. (It must have hurt badly.) He then ran out of the Headquarters at, what Matsuda imagined it to be, ultra-full speed (with a magical glow of burning fire trailing behind him), screaming and cursing the entire time. Light and L were certain he never stopped running until he was a considerable distance away from them both. (Which made a lot of sense indeed.)

It was clear that Aizawa had been enduring L, but now that Light seemed to be that way as well, he could not take it anymore.

Matsuda started commenting again, as he always did.

"That was why I told him not to offend the spirit guides…"

On his face was a terribly saddened expression. He then broke down.

Tears pooled at his eyes and slid down his cheeks, "You didn't deserve this Aizawa-san! I shall pray to the guides for you..."

He then proceeded to dance the rain dance as he wept. (Which was the wrong dance, apparently.)

Mogi looked to the weeping (dancing?) Matsuda, and back to the boys at the desk (who very apparently did not give a damn to the situation at hand).

He sighed. Very deeply.

It was rather evident he was the last sane person to exist. Well, what would a sane person actually do when faced with such situation?

"This joke is getting too far…" Mogi muttered, more to himself than anyone else. Chief Yagami couldn't be found, Aizawa was long gone, Matsuda was crying and Light and L were just plain weird…

He was starting to break down too…

"It is." L said, turning to Light, who was staring into space.

"What? Wait, did you just… " Light stared at L, confused.

L let out a small sigh.

"Yes. I agreed with Mogi-san."

Light started laughing manically, swinging his fists into the air. L changed back into his usual sitting position; squatting on his seat and slouching. He sulked unhappily.

"Would you kindly return my pastries to me, Light-kun?"

Light pointed at him, still laughing uncontrollably. Ahh, the sweet taste of victory… He had won! Oh god… he had… he had.. WON L! The Great L! Ahh, this was pure bliss…

Light swore he could see L's vein popping.

"It was inevitable, Light-kun, that I lost. I have not encountered situations like these, whereby I had to endure such torture…"

L could not take it anymore. There were many factors regarding why indeed. There was the clothing. The clothing… he shuddered. Terribly uncomfortable… That was just the beginning. Then there was the _hair_. Ugh! His hair was disgusting, much to his dismay. The gel equally revolted him. And there was the sitting position! His back _hurt_ a lot. It was getting exceedingly stiff, which was rather worrying. Then there were… _the shoes_. Those terrible, _terrible_ creations of mankind… A chill ran up his spine. Its basic purpose was meant to soothe the feet from the hard ground. And yet… all they did was to halt his feet from breathing and moving. He was confident that the shoes were trying to suffocate his feet. He felt like he was scarred for life.

And the worst thing was… the sugar. There was _no_ sugar… there was no _meaning_ in life… The Yagami brat was savouring the cakes in front of him, consuming the best parts in disgusting little bites. He had so many leftovers on the plates… He should have licked them _ALL_ up! It was a terrible waste, one his brilliant mind could not ignore…

His sweet pastries were practically calling out to him to **RESCUE** them from the savage beast. Therefore, with justice fully in mind, he had no choice but to come to the aid of the hostages…

He could still hear them screaming hoarsely as they crawled at Light's feet...

"I was in a similar situation, Ryuuzaki. Stop being such a sore loser."

L glared at Light for a while (His babies (pastries) had suffered under his hands! To be this cruel, he was Kira indeed.) and sulked even more. His sense of pride wouldn't allow himself to admit defeat with logical reasons to back him up.

Well, Light had endured a lot too…

Light was sure his back was going to obtain some kind of backbone-slouching disease when he got old. Hours had gone by, and he had had to curl up in that disgusting position of Ryuuzaki's, looking perfectly fine.

He could not deny that he was _very_ confident in his acting skills. However, there was a limit to certain things… Such as… The sugar. The sickening sugar. He had done it mostly to taunt L, to make him give up… Well, he supposed it had worked… But he was certain that no matter how much he worked out, the large amount of sugar he had just consumed would remain in his body forever…

He could imagine the sugar **GERMS **were in his stomach now, digging into it and intending to stay there forever...

NOOOOOOOO!

Light's brow twitched, ever so slightly. He would be having bad dreams from now on. He was an extremely health-conscious person indeed. Which thereby explained his disgust towards sugar products...

And his get-up! He looked so… _ugly_. Nothing like the perfectionist he was. If girls were to ever see him in such a state, he would commit suicide. Even looking at himself in the mirror made him feel like retching.

The worst definitely was talking and acting like L. The arrogant L. Blank expression, percentages… It infuriated him to no end. Why were the percentages L always mentioned that detailed? It wasn't necessary at all. Show-off.

Matsuda looked from Light, who had straightened his back to its picture-perfect posture, to L, who went back to that terrible slouch. Then he looked between them both, eyes moving back and forth.

"I…"

Mogi shook his head, "This is not happening."

L looked to Mogi, eyes losing its previous bright luster and now blank as ever.

"It is, Mogi-san. I apologize for the inconvenience caused. It was, in fact, much of Light-kun fault for such a situation. However I must admit that I am partly at fault as well. It was, as most people commonly call it, a dare."

Light laughed, smirking evilly.

"That's right, Ryuuzaki. And the winner can make a certain request of the other party, no matter what it is…" He rubbed his hands gleefully.

"Yes, that is correct, Light-kun. Please kindly pass me the pastries. I am currently in a rather deprived state."

"Ahh, Ryuuzaki." Light pushed the plates piled with cakes to L, "Be ready to receive your punishment very soon."

Ehehe… Light giggled in his mind.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note! Well, if I did... -evil smile-<strong>

**A/N: Hey guys! :D Happy New Year! This is for the New Year's! It was a stray plot bunny that had been bouncing about in my head for a while now... X3 I hoped you enjoyed it! It was supposed to be a one-shot... But... I was thinking, what if I have other plot bunnies about dares? Ad thus this little series was born... Though, it's not really a series yet.. XD**

**Well, I hoped they didn't go OOC! -crossesfingers- It was just a fun concept in his head, and I just could not shake it off! XP Well, for my other readers... worry not! L's iPad Chapter 4 is already being worked on! :D Yup! Although I'm not sure if you guys will like it... Ahaha, because I've decided to add in a little (teensy) plot... So... Chapter 4 would not full lemon after all... -hides behind rocks from horde of angry people- Gah! Don't throw stones at me \(;-;)/ I'm so sorry! I beg your forgiveness! **  
><strong>-bows vigorously-<strong>

**Anyway! XD I hope you guys laughed while reading this... (It's meant to be CRACK, after all...)**

**Review? :D Tell me if you guys want me to continue with the punishment thing that Light intends to do... :D**

**Happy New Year, peeps!**

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

This poem doesn't rhyme,

Refrigerator.


	2. Update Note!

Update Note indeed! xD

A/N: Hey guys! The sequel for this story had been posted! But it's not here, unfortunately. I figured that the summary would be misleading if I posted L's little punishment here because the plot is totally different! It's a little mix with a television show known as... Wipeout! xDDD

_.net/s/7712741/1/Wipeout_Death_Note_Style_

_Summary: PURE CRACK: Join the Death Note cast as they are reluctantly pulled into the game known as... Wipeout! Sequel to 'I Dare You'_

Yup! Go check it out! ;) And watch L suffer the atrocities of Wipeout!

Muahaha!

-Anony


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